Although Largely Christian in its base (not my preferred spirituality), this writing explores some ideas about how to deal with horror. I always felt the concept of forgiveness was extremely powerful but difficult. If it can find true existence it can relieve the sufferer of the pain of the event. I also think children are very special and can forgive through their simplification of things. Through their dreams perhaps, they can self-heal in such a way as to empower them much more than many adults can. I also “feel” there is much more to emotions than we can scientifically prove.(Songs are made of such things)!
FORMED FROM A RIB
by PMPB
This child closes his eyes……away from here and these troubles.
A darkness tinged with eyelids daylight red enfolds his vision……breath….racing with no competitors……now begins to rest…… becoming slower……deeper……slower still.
The troubled sounds now in another room……ease away………replaced with the sounds of his own breath……as breath itself becomes life itself……concentrated……purifying………calming.
Soon……the coloured swirling mists……
pale yet clearly of blending light…….begin their dance before his eyelids………a swift movement towards him of pale red turning to green…..while a yellow moves away….counterpointing into an ambers wake.
Deepness of feelings follow each swirling pass……calming……to calmer……peace……to peacefulness……through breath……to sighing breath……
Blossoming flowers release scents from within the mists………apple……to ……orange……to sweetest of rosebuds first escape…calling to release…calling for new life.
Sounds of natures new music ……minor…into major………cyclicing ……slowly…accompanying the beginning of the waterfall……coming into his view……the rush of falling ………calming……yet waking……as the vision becomes more apparent………and the waters taste soon quenches the forgotten thirst………thirst for life.
Tasting the soft waters touch………curing……cleansing…… overwhelming……unbelieving……he sees the beginning of the form of a human figure………staring into the water, the form is human……a female……beauteous in its manifestation………unclothed……her emotions can be seen through her bluest of blue eye’s……non blinking……all seeing.
And the child sees himself within her……and she can teach him……she…brings life to this child………and ……she……formed from a rib ………discovers the life in this child……………and ……through thoughts in breath ……can guide this child……as if god had asked her to.
The child steps forward…but becomes a little afraid………and his breath falters from its peaceful path for a moment. The feminine opens her mouth and whispers to him……the words unclear at first.
She begins to fade a little and the child feels a loss begin……”no”…he speaks out loud…and he hears his own voice bringing him out of the vision for a few moments.
The sound of a smashing plate in the distance. The fiery anger of the stepfather…… shouting abuse at his surroundings. The bruised fist held into the other hand speaks of trauma……anger……frustration.
The stepfather sees the child around him and his own childhood comes into his mind.
A fleeting vision of himself ………hiding from the sounds of shouting ……sharing it with nobody…… seeing only the darkness of his often visited sheltered domain. Only the ‘oh so rare’ comfort of arms around him………so very………very……rare
He sees his adult world only in his own terms now……a condition of his past……a rule unto a rule……with little logic…… little space to share.
He marked his fist with angers uneven guide into a wall……into wood and into the air…perhaps hoping to touch the angry spirit seemingly controlling him.
The stepfather……… now alone…… rests upon a chair. Left to hear the sound of his own breath…… to chase the cycled illogic of his thoughts…… around … inside and out.
He is calming a little now……emotions becoming more apparent. Questions asked of himself and his surroundings leading again to the thoughts movement away from this life…… to find a peace…… to envelop a distant… faded feeling of what he believed love was like.
The woman enters the room.She….used to the shouting…… the fisting of the wood and walls……keeps a distance between herself and the stepfather.She….a slave to the bond she feels for him…… realises the glue is melting as her child show’s fear in its face.
She……with little in the way of physical gifts of natures apparent rules of true beauty….reminds herself of her feelings for the man……and now deep compassion tries again to prevail itself upon him………her words……softly spoken now……reach out from her to him……her mind racing….searching for the logic that can tunnel them both out of the apparent abyss.
‘Oh such patterns have worked before’…so why not now?…as she steps away from the mans verbal energies which erupt with spit………and anger.
She can no longer look into his tired, gasping eyes…..purple in their gaze……frozen in their stare………She ………reminds herself of her feelings for the man………now in flux.
The child…. eyes now open…lies upon the bed staring up to the ceiling……fixing upon a mark in the paintwork……fixed until the peripheral vision of his sight begins to dominate and change the pattern of the scene.
He is much calmer now…calmer than he was when he dodged the stepfather’s fisted blow and dashed into the free pathway to the staircase.
A blow struck to him once before………remains close to the mental surface of the boys feeling body………and the bruise ……seen only by himself and the stepfather……he carefully hid from all who may say ill of him.
”That better not be seen……or all will be told of your evil ways……”
Those word sounds still heard in his inner ears………and a blameful self fear instils itself upon him………and holds his tongue in checkmate.
His mother…. once did share with her son, a book told upon a good to evil search ……with the follower of good winning in slow but sure time……And a childish story it was…yet with deepest meaning………and it took her son to another place………and showed him a way.
It was fortunes way for an evil giant to give rise to the path of a young handsome knight…… whose sword was mighty and whose reason was sure sounding. And the giant did touch the course of a shepherd whose guidance to sheep was his only care. For the land was bare except for the giant’s adjacent field……and the giant gave no permission………despite the sheep’s starving glances………But…… the shepherd did cross…………and the giant… wallowing in the past of his suffering pride … did become fretful………and a sheep was killed…..its body stolen for the supper of a giant………alone in his kitchen.
The shepherd consulted the towns elders who spoke amongst themselves for a good while. Soon the goodly knight was called…and shame was made upon the giant’s judgement……and the knight rode forward to the edge of the giant’s field and did wield his mighty sword unto a prayer.
The giant……aware of the rage of his act…. came forward to defend his turf……with all his bodily might.
And the knight…did know of the giant’s ever long and sorrowful past ………deeply steeped in pride.
So he did speak to all the creatures living upon the land of the giant……and whispered to them of the giant’s greed……then…… through the feelings of compassion …… the knight asked forgiveness from them. And the giant’s nature did want to withdraw their presence as they felt shame upon the giant’s act.
And so……All the life……bird’s……bee’s…cat’s…fox’s……leaf’s…flower’s……cloud’s……and sunlight…………all slept upon their time within the giant’s garden………and a deathly calm befell the giant’s land and he became frozen and illness brought him close to a death.
The elders……upon hearing the news of the giant’s demise……asked to speak to the good knight.
“I did not blow him with my sword………I asked myself of natures merciful ways……and asked of how his nature may be changed………and all of the giant’s nature became one and cast him out. Now he has been forgiven into being alone”.
The child……remembering the story of the giant and the knight……was emoting the story………and forgiveness arose in his heart………and he experienced the emotion……and his thoughts passed to his stepfather………and he offered mercy to him….with every feeling he could evoke…….every image……every giant…every good knight…every flower he could imagine…every fox and every bird…………and so…in such a way……he forgave his stepfather.
She………swallows her pride……suffers her lot………and leaves the man in deepest alone.She climbs the stairs and enters the room of her 11 year old son, who is still on the bed. He turns…. his face a feared again.
She………realising his expression……whispers comfort and moves towards him. Together they embrace……and such sweet sigh’s as they lovingly bond in the physical and emotional once more………and she so became overwhelmed by the touch she felt that tears did flood her eyes………as together they felt emotions………… together……a child and his mother.
The stepfather………alone………in need of dispersion of his anger guided power……empties the glass of its malt drink. He sits and rests his head upon the armchair………the daylight beginning to fade.
He slips into a light…tense…sleep. His breath …………at first shallow……becomes deeper.
A dream befalls him quickly………a fog……a mist of swirling light……darkness to brightness……shapes of light swirl around him……re-forming into the wake of a darker mist……moving…… passing away.
And a light rain touches his face as he floats towards a waterfall……cleansing……cooling of temper… he feels himself going further………soon to see the form of a naked woman inside the waters falling flow.
She…naked……a new lover?……Lustfully whispers to him………and her emotions can be seen through her bluest of blue eyes……non blinking……all seeing.
And the man sees himself within her……….and she can teach him……she……brings life to this man……and ……she……formed of the rib of Adam……discovers the life in this man……………and ……through thoughts in breath ……can guide this man……as if god had asked her to.
The man steps forward……but becomes a little afraid………and his breath falters from its peaceful path for a moment. The feminine opens her mouth and whispers to him……the words unclear at first but soon to form.
“Know me………..I am as your mothers arms…..come to hold you…..alone in your darkness……………I share your past.”
And the man never again awoke…………such was the sweet hold of those sheltering arms.
PMPBmxxx
